a stream--brook--
gurgles--plays
jumping over pebbles--stones--boulders--
--sand.
God laughs.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
a conversation with God
on my way home from a walk, a beautiful sight caught my attention.
my eyes saw the brilliant green of leaves illuminated against the night sky by the white light of a street lamp.
my heart saw God smiling.
i knew He was up to something.
yet still i climbed the stairs, tired, and crawled into bed--choosing to read a few poems from a book before sleeping.
this Line jumped out at me from a page: "wayfarer, now is no time to sit still."
my heart knew i had to go back out, but my mind fought it. however, eventually, i allowed my heart to win out and put my clothes back on.
outside, with earbuds in, i heard my name.
confused, i turned. an acquaintance.
"you'll never hear the Voice of God like that," she warned.
it took me a moment to recognize those words: words i had penned down myself. words about being plugged into nature instead of plugged in to me.
she smiled: "i read that one."
chit-chat, then i moved on.
"she has a good point, you know," a Voice in my head.
"yes, she does."
"you made that point."
"i suppose technically You did."
"you're right, I did. but I chose you as the messenger for My words." God paused. "you didn't think anyone read that, did you?"
"no, i suppose i really didn't."
"she did; and so did others. for all your whining and complaining that no one ever listens to you, you have quite a large audience. you should learn to appreciate what I've given you."
"but i really don't feel like anyone is listening to me."
"do you write only for recognition from others? for feelings? that is not the reason I have allowed you to hear Me. those around you aren't listening to your words, but to Mine."
i knew this fact, had had it explained to me a million times, yet somehow managed to keep forgetting.
"i'm sorry--i'll try to do better."
i had reached the same place i remembered from before--green leaves dancing in the light and wind.
and i could tell that God was smiling once more as He walked along beside me.
"brian, there is a lot in the world that you will never understand, much that you will never know. your task is to live in total abandon, total obedience to Me. did I not tell you to keep from worrying? have I not been putting things into place? have you not seen Me in the things around you? I'm even in the leaves, for goodness' sake!"
"i know, i really do. i've seen You all around me, but sometimes it is hard to step back and let You run things. i like to have things under control."
"and that is why I need you. do you not know how I work? I choose the least likely person for each task and use them to complete it--the proud teach humility and the meek become the brave. I don't speak to you because you have some talent . . . I speak to you because you have none, and it is only in the moments when you acknowledge that fact that I do come to you."
while He spoke a fox crossed the road and the excess water from the sprinklers gurgled across the sidewalk. i adjusted my steps to avoid crushing a bug.
everything in the world was in harmony and i was nothing more than another drop in the bucket.
i really am nothing, i thought.
"now you begin to understand," God said with that familiar twinkle in His eyes. "now go home and get some rest, you have a busy day tomorrow."
this time it was my turn to smile.
"thank You," i said to the Leaves, then walked home.
my eyes saw the brilliant green of leaves illuminated against the night sky by the white light of a street lamp.
my heart saw God smiling.
i knew He was up to something.
yet still i climbed the stairs, tired, and crawled into bed--choosing to read a few poems from a book before sleeping.
this Line jumped out at me from a page: "wayfarer, now is no time to sit still."
my heart knew i had to go back out, but my mind fought it. however, eventually, i allowed my heart to win out and put my clothes back on.
outside, with earbuds in, i heard my name.
confused, i turned. an acquaintance.
"you'll never hear the Voice of God like that," she warned.
it took me a moment to recognize those words: words i had penned down myself. words about being plugged into nature instead of plugged in to me.
she smiled: "i read that one."
chit-chat, then i moved on.
"she has a good point, you know," a Voice in my head.
"yes, she does."
"you made that point."
"i suppose technically You did."
"you're right, I did. but I chose you as the messenger for My words." God paused. "you didn't think anyone read that, did you?"
"no, i suppose i really didn't."
"she did; and so did others. for all your whining and complaining that no one ever listens to you, you have quite a large audience. you should learn to appreciate what I've given you."
"but i really don't feel like anyone is listening to me."
"do you write only for recognition from others? for feelings? that is not the reason I have allowed you to hear Me. those around you aren't listening to your words, but to Mine."
i knew this fact, had had it explained to me a million times, yet somehow managed to keep forgetting.
"i'm sorry--i'll try to do better."
i had reached the same place i remembered from before--green leaves dancing in the light and wind.
and i could tell that God was smiling once more as He walked along beside me.
"brian, there is a lot in the world that you will never understand, much that you will never know. your task is to live in total abandon, total obedience to Me. did I not tell you to keep from worrying? have I not been putting things into place? have you not seen Me in the things around you? I'm even in the leaves, for goodness' sake!"
"i know, i really do. i've seen You all around me, but sometimes it is hard to step back and let You run things. i like to have things under control."
"and that is why I need you. do you not know how I work? I choose the least likely person for each task and use them to complete it--the proud teach humility and the meek become the brave. I don't speak to you because you have some talent . . . I speak to you because you have none, and it is only in the moments when you acknowledge that fact that I do come to you."
while He spoke a fox crossed the road and the excess water from the sprinklers gurgled across the sidewalk. i adjusted my steps to avoid crushing a bug.
everything in the world was in harmony and i was nothing more than another drop in the bucket.
i really am nothing, i thought.
"now you begin to understand," God said with that familiar twinkle in His eyes. "now go home and get some rest, you have a busy day tomorrow."
this time it was my turn to smile.
"thank You," i said to the Leaves, then walked home.
Friday, August 22, 2008
every sun of heaven
every sun--son?--of heaven
opens like a great blossom
each night,
ready to spill Your love.
their petals fall, kiss the ground
illuminating Your glory and
worshipping
the Divine Creativity.
light my soul on fire, that i may be
a sun--son?--to unfold like
a flower
and cast my petals.
amen
opens like a great blossom
each night,
ready to spill Your love.
their petals fall, kiss the ground
illuminating Your glory and
worshipping
the Divine Creativity.
light my soul on fire, that i may be
a sun--son?--to unfold like
a flower
and cast my petals.
amen
Monday, August 11, 2008
update de vie
so to make up for all the somewhat heavy posts i've been making on here, i thought a nice little update on what's going on in my life was due.
mom and dad came down to memphis last saturday to help me make the move from the apartment in carpenter to my new room in towers. while technically a move down, i feel really good about it--i've spent the morning today getting my stuff organized and arranged and i think it will work out nicely.
i have a really good feeling about living there this coming semester. we'll see what happens.
i only have one more night of duty as an ra--and two hours of check-in for the law school--and then i am done with this job. while it was definitely a Godsend, i think i am ready to be done. it will be nice to go to sleep when i want to, without the fear of getting a phonecall in the middle of the night to let someone into their apartment.
of course, this means i will need to start looking for a new job, probably somewhere on-campus. hopefully it won't be too hard to find something.
mom and dad left me the car when they came down so i will be able to drive myself home this wednesday. it's really nice to have a car, but--being used to making due without one--i really can't think of too many places to go.
c'est la vie.
anyway, i think this post was incredibly boring and probably not worth the time to read it, but i felt like writing and didn't have anything really worthwhile to say.
ciao.
mom and dad came down to memphis last saturday to help me make the move from the apartment in carpenter to my new room in towers. while technically a move down, i feel really good about it--i've spent the morning today getting my stuff organized and arranged and i think it will work out nicely.
i have a really good feeling about living there this coming semester. we'll see what happens.
i only have one more night of duty as an ra--and two hours of check-in for the law school--and then i am done with this job. while it was definitely a Godsend, i think i am ready to be done. it will be nice to go to sleep when i want to, without the fear of getting a phonecall in the middle of the night to let someone into their apartment.
of course, this means i will need to start looking for a new job, probably somewhere on-campus. hopefully it won't be too hard to find something.
mom and dad left me the car when they came down so i will be able to drive myself home this wednesday. it's really nice to have a car, but--being used to making due without one--i really can't think of too many places to go.
c'est la vie.
anyway, i think this post was incredibly boring and probably not worth the time to read it, but i felt like writing and didn't have anything really worthwhile to say.
ciao.
Monday, August 4, 2008
the cathedral of your soul
i once heard the human body described as a cathedral: beautiful, often ornate, but--chiefly--empty.
what fills the cathedral of the human heart?
Love.
or rather, that is how it should be.
too often, instead of allowing the Wind of love to blow freely through these lofty, inner spaces and refresh us (and through us, the world), we fill these halls with stuff.
clothes, shoes, computers, video games, music, friends, food . . . whatever the fashion of the day dictates.
because, as humans, we know we have these inner spaces. we know they were designed to be filled.
most of us just don't know with what.
so we may start with a television tucked unobtrusively in the corner. but it's impossible to stop there: before you know it, there's a stack of dvds a mile high and a mile wide blocking the windows and preventing the Wind of love--of God--from blowing through us.
sensing the empty space, the stillness in our soul, we just want more and more.
eventually, our heart becomes simultaneously full of stuff while lacking a single ounce of substance.
and, instead of feeling Love, we become inwardly unhappy--whether we realize it or not.
(i could go on and on about the problems that rise from this unhappiness--from depression to divorce--but i will allow you to draw those conclusions on your own.)
my point is this: clean yourself--your heart--out.
there is a reason Jesus' ministry was mobile: He was so full of Love, so blown with the Wind, that (i think) He was almost physically incapable of material possession--being instead compelled to spread the Love as far as He could.
"again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." -matthew 19:24
take only what you need and leave the rest.
close your eyes and imagine your inner cathedral (mine looks like the hagia sophia ;) ).
what do you see there?
mentally remove the junk. empty your heart out until there remains only you, alone in that cavernous and holy space, kneeling humbly at the altar.
stay there in that (mental) position of surrender until you can feel the gentle Breeze on your cheek. embrace it, listen to it. wait for it to grow to a deafening, howling Wind that you cannot ignore.
follow that Wind wherever it leads you, and there--in that journey--you will find true happiness . . . and true Love.
what fills the cathedral of the human heart?
Love.
or rather, that is how it should be.
too often, instead of allowing the Wind of love to blow freely through these lofty, inner spaces and refresh us (and through us, the world), we fill these halls with stuff.
clothes, shoes, computers, video games, music, friends, food . . . whatever the fashion of the day dictates.
because, as humans, we know we have these inner spaces. we know they were designed to be filled.
most of us just don't know with what.
so we may start with a television tucked unobtrusively in the corner. but it's impossible to stop there: before you know it, there's a stack of dvds a mile high and a mile wide blocking the windows and preventing the Wind of love--of God--from blowing through us.
sensing the empty space, the stillness in our soul, we just want more and more.
eventually, our heart becomes simultaneously full of stuff while lacking a single ounce of substance.
and, instead of feeling Love, we become inwardly unhappy--whether we realize it or not.
(i could go on and on about the problems that rise from this unhappiness--from depression to divorce--but i will allow you to draw those conclusions on your own.)
my point is this: clean yourself--your heart--out.
there is a reason Jesus' ministry was mobile: He was so full of Love, so blown with the Wind, that (i think) He was almost physically incapable of material possession--being instead compelled to spread the Love as far as He could.
"again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." -matthew 19:24
take only what you need and leave the rest.
close your eyes and imagine your inner cathedral (mine looks like the hagia sophia ;) ).
what do you see there?
mentally remove the junk. empty your heart out until there remains only you, alone in that cavernous and holy space, kneeling humbly at the altar.
stay there in that (mental) position of surrender until you can feel the gentle Breeze on your cheek. embrace it, listen to it. wait for it to grow to a deafening, howling Wind that you cannot ignore.
follow that Wind wherever it leads you, and there--in that journey--you will find true happiness . . . and true Love.
Friday, August 1, 2008
open mind, open ears
when we are certain of the way God is going to work, He will never work in that way anymore. -oswald chambers
God is in the everyday, but He is not in the routine. He can be found in the common things around you, but He is not common--because He will only appear in those things at the moment and in the way that you are least expecting.
people use the cliché "don't put God in a box" all the time, but do they ever really listen to themselves?
rarely.
i've found God's Voice in all sorts of places: from fortune cookies to (secular) songs on the radio. there is no end to the Divine Creativity when He wants to get a message across.
but i can assure you that the second you crack open that cookie or switch on that radio expecting to hear the Voice--you won't.
because it doesn't work that way.
don't be concerned with the way in which God will speak to you--leave that up to Him.
instead, talk to Him with faith that He will answer and when He does--through whatever means--your heart will know that you have heard the Voice.
all you have to do is pay attention.
and don't put God in a box. ;)
God is in the everyday, but He is not in the routine. He can be found in the common things around you, but He is not common--because He will only appear in those things at the moment and in the way that you are least expecting.
people use the cliché "don't put God in a box" all the time, but do they ever really listen to themselves?
rarely.
i've found God's Voice in all sorts of places: from fortune cookies to (secular) songs on the radio. there is no end to the Divine Creativity when He wants to get a message across.
but i can assure you that the second you crack open that cookie or switch on that radio expecting to hear the Voice--you won't.
because it doesn't work that way.
don't be concerned with the way in which God will speak to you--leave that up to Him.
instead, talk to Him with faith that He will answer and when He does--through whatever means--your heart will know that you have heard the Voice.
all you have to do is pay attention.
and don't put God in a box. ;)
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