I really hate watching the news.

Channel surfing last night, I stopped on CNN for a few moments. In the short course of those few moments, my blood pressure surged astronomically.

That is why I generally try to avoid watching the news.

The anchor--some self-important old man--was doing a story on the reaction in the House and Senate to the President's proposed budget.

Politicians--self-important old men--interviewed from both sides of the aisle were railing on and on about the need for more fiscal responsibility.

Well, yeah. Duh.

So what spiked my blood pressure?

Why, the parts of the budget they thought should be cut, of course: funding for healthcare reform and tax cuts for the middle class.

Hmm.

So apparently, our government does have enough money to merrily pass out billions (buh-buh-buh-billions) of tax dollars to those poor, hurting business execs on Wall Street--so, you know, they can get raises, new jets, and take corporate vacations to plushy resorts in Dubai--but, sadly, they do not have enough money to improve healthcare in a nation facing cancer and obesity pandemics and some of the worst health stats in the developed world.

Using public funds to pay the tycoons of private companies instead of helping the people you got the money from in the first place?

That makes perfect sense!

By George, Washington, I think you've solved the budget crisis.

And your plan even has a strong historical precedent!

It's kinda like that time Marie Antoinette spent tax money to throw lavish parties and buy hundreds of dresses.

Haha, or maybe that time Nicholas II spent public funds to buy his wife really pretty Easter eggs.

Wait a second . . . don't those examples have something else in common?

Nah.

Besides, this is America. Land of the free. Home of the brave. We don't have injustice here.

Our Establishment would never pad its own pockets and make the people foot the bill.

I really hate watching the news.