So you're the Antichrist?

. . . Please step to the end of the line.

This is part two of what will probably be a three part series to dispel some of the craziness circulating the internet. Yesterday, I discussed Poverty and Laziness.

Today?

The Antichrist.

It was not long after Barack Obama won the election that doom-sayers began mouthing their wild predictions that he is the Antichrist and this is the End of Days.

You are more than welcome to believe that if you want to; that is your right as an American.

But before you take to the streets and subways with your "The End is Nigh" signs, I ask you for the second day in a row to step back and think.

For thousands of years, people have been screaming "Antichrist!" at anyone they felt was too powerful or opposed their views. While some of these claims are reasonable--maybe even appropriate--others are downright ludicrous.

And, I would like to point out, the End of Days has still yet to come.

So maybe--just maybe--do you think you could be over-reacting?

The following list of "Antichrists" has been borrowed from the one here, with a few omissions and adaptations.

Now, without further ado, I present you with the Who's-Who of Satan's minions:

Roman Emperor Nero

This guy was a real jerk . . . he burned Rome to the ground and blamed the Christians in order to turn the public against them. In some interpretations of Revelation--where the book is taken to address the fall of the Roman Empire--he is actually perceived to be the Antichrist. I think those views make sense.

Any and Every Pope

Oh, Protestants. Bitter are we? But really, some of the arguments here make sense, I'll give them that. Worth a "heh" while reading.

Charlemagne

Yeah, you know that guy who Christianized the Franks and a good-sized chunk of Northern Europe? Totally had it in for JC.

Napoleon

So he was a short, war-mongering Corsican. That doesn't make him evil. He probably just had a complex or something. ;)

Abraham Lincoln

A Southern preacher during the war? I'm sure you thought so.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Say whaaat? "Bad! Bad, FDR! No, stop it! Don't pass social reforms and pull us out of the Depression! It's God's will!"

Benito Mussolini

Honestly, he didn't have the brains or resources to be an effective Antichrist. Sorry to disappoint.

Adolf Hitler

6 million dead? I understand this one.

Josef Stalin

30 million? This one, too.

(Are you beginning to notice a trend? Aparently every world leader during World War II was the Antichrist except Winston Churchill. Oh, and Tojo. Interesting.)

John F. Kennedy

Because he was Catholic. A tolerant people, humanity, aren't we? Apparently, many people were expecting him to "miraculously" return to life after he was shot in Dallas.

King Juan Carlos of Spain

Simply because Spain was the tenth nation to join the European Union.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

He has 6 letters in each of his names. Le gasp!

Mikhail Gorbachev

A Russian premier who supported the people's rights? Has to be evil.

Yassir Arafat

Hahaha. This accusation is probably just justification for being mean to the Palestinians.

Bill Clinton

I could believe the Antichrist will be from Arkansas.

Barney the Dinosaur

. . . I had heard this before, but never had any idea that some people are serious about it. Yikes.

Bill Gates

Capitalist scumbag. What's 666 in binary?

Jacques Chirac

Arrogant? Maybe. I think you just hate France.

George Bush

Ask anyone who lives outside the South. Especially foreigners. Particularly, you know, Baghdadis.

And now, to the end of that list we add . . .

Barack Obama

For such heinous crimes as having the middle name "Hussein" and wanting to use something besides guns in his foreign policy.

What a terrible guy.